Humble citizens:
I, Wingman, have endured many trying situations in my time as the greatest hero alive. More recently, I single-handedly apprehended every single villain at the Evil Convention of Villains.
But, I fear my breaking point is fast approaching. A diabolical mastermind is weaving a web around me from which there is no escape that I can see... Very, very soon, I, Wingman, will be forced into the most hopeless trap imaginable.
In just a few short weeks, Cheetah Girl and I will be getting married.
At a wedding.
Heaven help me.

—Signed Wingman.